"HULLO! Centr-r-r--what's up? YOU'RE not referee! -- pre-ee-kwu-ror-bing!!! "YES, I get you - Black 4...Kxf7 now 5.Nxe5+ --yes, I mean it --What opening? you'll see -- it's the END I'm after -- a variation on the Spanish -- fire away! 5...Nxe5 6.Qh5+ Ke6 all right -- "You want 1/3 OFF! Who are YOU?--Hullo--I'm not talking to Drex-irrwhixzyvilling--SAY, CENT, you've cut us off; what ails you?--Give me 725 38-- "Now, Nibs - 7.Qf5+ Kd6 I thought so -- this game adjourned till we check, Central. 8.f4 "NO, O-O -- WE'RE NOT THROUGH YET!! Hold the wire, what, your 8th? 8...Qh4+ ? Regular El Caney move -- "SPELL-ELL it - groorumbrkyxgz -- HBLLULLOOA YOU mind your biz! Send your manager to the wire - whyer-er-ert-r-roontoonmuling--Is this Central? Well, I've sent to a pay station to ring up your manager -- WHO HAS? I, I, myself, have, give me 725 38 -- You, Nibs? 9.g3 Nf3+ "Hang this-- match--You'll hang it up very soon now! 10.Kd1 Ne7 yes, not quite through- 11.e5+ Kd5 that can't draw you out, see? 12.Qd3+ check--your 8th move cooked your defence--goodbye, Central, you've mated him."
A few comments:
Fortunately, telephone service is far improved today, especially with the absence of an interrupting Central operator.
The American Chess Magazine article did not say if this "game" was based on a real game or someone's analysis.
The "El Caney" reference was to a July 1898 battle during the Spanish-American War, when 500 Spanish soldiers withstood the attack of 8,000 American soldiers for 12 hours. It is odd that the author attributes this to a Black move, as it is clear from diagram three that the second player in the game had more "troops" in the field.
The final comment – "you've mated him" – was incorrect. However, after 12...Nd4 White can play 13.gxh4, winning the enemy Queen, with a significant advantage.
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