A Walk on the Wild Side (Part I)

From Great Britain's premier member of the Jerome Gambit (1.e4 e4 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bc4 Bc5 4.Bxf7+) Gemeinde and regular contributor to this blog, Pete Banks ("blackburne").

"A Walk on the Wild Side"

P Banks v R Brodie
Halesowen v Bushbury
Wolv U-110 Cup
Board 1
15/10/2008

Chapter 1

I haven't played for a couple of seasons, so have forgotten where some of the clubs are. Anyway, I thought our captain had said Rushall, not Bushbury (well, they've both got an 'ush' in them!). Though Tony had sent me directions to Bushbury, I'd looked up Rushall while at work, and simply programmed their postcode into my sat-nav.

I set off in good time, but was held up by traffic and arrived just before 7:30. I tried the back door of the pub they play in. It was locked, so I went round the front.

Now the last time I played here one of the pub regulars spat at my feet as I was walking in, so I was slightly wary. I went in, and the place was deserted except for the barmaid and a few locals playing pool and glowering. The one I noticed particularly had a shaved head, and one of those T-shirts with the arms ripped off that said something like "F--- off world" on the front. He also had 'Love' and 'Hate' tattooed on his knuckles and a dotted line round his neck labelled 'Tear Here'. He had various other tattoos as well, but I didn't take them all in. Well you don't like to stare, do you?

Anyway, as I was asking the barmaid if the chess club still met there, only to be told "Yes, but on Mondays", this character marched purposefully behind me, taking his pool cue with him. Could be in a bit of trouble here I thought. The next thing I know, he taps me on the shoulder. Uh oh.

“Here, mate, you dropped your fags” he said, in a pleasant voice.

Chapter 2

Back in the car park, I had a think, and decided that the venue should have been Bushbury, so I drove there as fast as I could, arriving about 8:00 in the district, but nothing looked familiar.

I didn’t have anyone’s phone number with me, so I pulled into a side road and phoned home. I talked my computer-phobic wife through switching on, logging on, closing down warning messages etc, etc, and eventually managed to get her to navigate to Bushbury’s club site and give me the post code. I quickly found the club, which was locked.

I managed to get let in and sat down in the only empty seat. I now had 25 minutes left on my clock for 30 moves. I thought that the procedure was that if a team
member turned up late, everyone else moved up a place, so I assumed that I was
playing board 4. After the night I’d had so far I needed to let off steam a bit, and under the impression that I was on board 4, thought that my opponent would be relatively weak. So what else could I play but the Jerome Gambit?

After I committed to it, I looked at my opponent again, and recognised him. Surely he was a reasonable player? I sneaked a look over Tony’s shoulder at the match card, and sure enough I was still playing board one! Not one of my better nights!