Neither do I.
They always know the moves you should have played, the moves your opponent could have played, and they're never shy about sharing all of that.
There is a world of difference between kibitzing and annotating, despite their allegedly similar goals.
I mention all this because after Welton Vaz ("Gandybh" at Chess.com) completed his Jerome Gambit (1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bc4 Bc5 4.Bxf7+) treatment of the Semi-Italian Opening (1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bc4 h6) (see "Italian Game Anti-Fried Liver Defense Part 1"), he submitted it for analysis to the computer at Chess.com.
The result was surely educational, but it was also relentless. I chuckled my way through the game – it was a fun, exciting, typical Semi-Italian Jerome Gambit – because of the computer's notes. A computerized kibitzer – what will they think of next?
Gandybh - sqerl
Chess.com, 2009
0% (1270) - 0% (1243) [C55]
Live Chess Chess.com, 16.11.2009
[Chess.com Computer Analysis]
Inaccuracies(?!): 8 = 22.9% of moves
Mistakes(?): 3 = 8.6% of moves
Blunders(??): 3 = 8.6% of moves
1.e4 (Book Move) e5 (Book Move) 2.Nf3 (Book Move) Nc6 (Book Move) 3.Bc4 (Book Move) 3...h6 (+0.78)
4.Bxf7+??
(-2.32) BLUNDER - Oh no - a blunder! You should have played 4. O-O [BEST MOVE (+0.77) 4.0-0 Nf6 5.d4 exd4 6.Nxd4 Ne5 7.Bb3 Bc5 8.Nc3 0-0 9.f4 Bxd4+ 10.Qxd4 Nc6 11.Qc5 Kh8±;
BLUNDER (-2.32) 4.Bxf7+ Kxf7 5.0-0 Nf6 6.d3 Bb4 7.a3 Ba5 8.Nc3 Bxc3 9.bxc3 d5 10.exd5 Nxd5 11.Bd2-+]
BLUNDER (-2.32) 4.Bxf7+ Kxf7 5.0-0 Nf6 6.d3 Bb4 7.a3 Ba5 8.Nc3 Bxc3 9.bxc3 d5 10.exd5 Nxd5 11.Bd2-+]
(I prefer to play something like 4.0-0 and wait for 4...Bc5 before sacrificing my Bishop, but Gandybh is a braver man than I am. Still, we have seen 4.Bxf7+ on this blog before: perrypawnpusher - marapr, blitz FICS, 2007 and Fuller - Vallance-Gallant, Women's Open Championship of Canada ICCF, 2008 – Rick)
4...Kxf7 (-2.33)
5.Nxe5+? (-4.91) MISTAKE - Your position is getting even worse - you are now losing. The best line was 5. O-O [BEST MOVE (-3.04) 5.0-0 Nf6 6.Nc3 Bb4 7.d3 Bxc3 8.bxc3 d6-+;
MISTAKE (-4.91) 5.Nxe5+ Nxe5 6.d4 Nc6 7.0-0 Qh4 8.Nc3 Nf6 9.Qd3-+]
5...Nxe5 (-4.91)
6.Qh5+?!
(-5.18) INACCURACY - Perhaps better was 6. O-O [BEST MOVE (-4.80) 6.0-0 Ng6 7.d4 d6 8.Qf3+ Nf6 9.Qb3+ Be6 10.Qxb7 Be7-+;
INACCURACY (-5.18) 6.Qh5+ Ng6 7.Qd5+ Ke8 8.0-0 Qg5 9.Nc3 Nf4 10.Qxg5 hxg5-+]
6...Ng6 (-5.18) 7.Qd5+ (-5.26) 7...Ke8 (-5.31)
8.0-0 (-5.32) 8...Qe7 (-4.83) 9.Nc3 (-4.80) 9...c6 (-4.41) 10.Qf5 (-4.50) 10...Ne5 (-4.11)
11.d4 (-3.94) 11...d6 (-3.85) 12.Qf4 (-4.10) 12...Ng4 (-4.03)
13.f3 (-3.43) 13...Nxh2?
(-2.03) MISTAKE - Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 13... g5 [BEST MOVE (-3.49) 13...g5 14.Qg3 N4f6 15.e5 dxe5 16.dxe5 Qc5+ 17.Kh1 Nd5-+;
MISTAKE (-2.03) 13...Nxh2 14.Qxh2 Be6 15.d5 cxd5 16.Nxd5 Bxd5 17.exd5-+]
14.Kxh2?! (-2.80) INACCURACY - Things are looking up! You're still losing, but you're better off than before. [BEST MOVE (-1.99) 14.Qxh2 Kd8 15.e5 Bf5 16.Bf4 dxe5 17.dxe5 Kc7-+;
INACCURACY (-2.80) 14.Kxh2 Nf6 15.Kh1 Be6 16.e5 Nd5 17.Nxd5 Bxd5 18.exd6 Qxd6-+]
14...g5 (-2.60) 15.Qg3 (-2.83) 15...Bd7 (-2.14)
16.Be3?!
(-2.86) INACCURACY - Perhaps better was 16. e5 [BEST MOVE (-2.28) 16.e5 Qe6 17.Ne4 d5 18.Nc3 Qf5 19.Be3 Qxc2-+;
INACCURACY (-2.86) 16.Be3 Nf6 17.Kg1 Bg7 18.Rad1 Rf8 19.d5 cxd5 20.Nxd5 Nxd5 21.Rxd5-+]
16...Bg7 (-2.86)
17.Rh1?! (-3.52) INACCURACY - Your position is getting even worse - you are now losing. The best line was 17. a4 [BEST MOVE (-2.99) 17.a4 Nf6 18.Kh1 Nh5 19.Qh2 Nf4 20.g3 Nh3-+;
INACCURACY (-3.52) 17.Rh1 Nf6 18.a4 Nh5 19.Qf2 g4 20.fxg4 Bxg4-+]
17...Nf6 (-3.51)
18.Kg1?!
(-3.82) INACCURACY - Perhaps better was 18. Rhe1 [BEST MOVE (-3.50) 18.Rhe1 Nh5 19.Qf2 Kd8 20.g4 Nf4 21.Bxf4 gxf4-+;
INACCURACY (-3.82) 18.Kg1 Nd5 19.Kf2 Nxc3 20.bxc3 Rf8 21.Ke1 d5-+]
18...Kd8 (-3.55)
19.a4?! (-4.31) INACCURACY - Perhaps better was 19. Re1 [BEST MOVE (-3.51) 19.Re1 Nh7 20.e5 dxe5 21.dxe5 Bxe5 22.Bb6+ axb6 23.Rxe5-+;
INACCURACY (-4.31) 19.a4 Nd5 20.Nxd5 cxd5 21.Kf2 dxe4 22.c4 Kc7-+]
19...Ne8? (-3.17) MISTAKE - Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 19... Nd5 [BEST MOVE (-4.13) 19...Nd5 20.Kf2 Nxe3 21.Kxe3 Kc7 22.Ne2 h5 23.Kd2-+;
MISTAKE (-3.17) 19...Ne8 20.a5 g4 21.fxg4 Nf6 22.g5 Nxe4 23.Nxe4 Qxe4 24.gxh6 Bxd4 25.Bxd4 Qxd4+-+]
20.b4?! (-3.59) INACCURACY - Perhaps better was 20. a5 [BEST MOVE (-3.17) 20.a5 g4 21.fxg4 Nf6 22.g5 Nxe4 23.Nxe4 Qxe4 24.gxh6 Bxd4 25.Bxd4 Qxd4+-+;
INACCURACY (-3.59) 20.b4 d5 21.Qe1 Qxb4 22.Rb1 Qc4 23.e5 Kc7-+]
20...c5?
(-2.52) MISTAKE - Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 20... Qe6 [BEST MOVE (-3.98) 20...Qe6 21.Na2 Qc4 22.Qf2 Kc7 23.Rh2 Nf6 24.a5-+;
MISTAKE (-2.52) 20...c5 21.bxc5 dxc5 22.e5 cxd4 23.Bxd4 Qb4 24.Qf2-+]
21.Nd5 (-2.87) ALTERNATIVE - Things are looking up! You're still losing, but you're better off than before. [BEST MOVE (-2.72) 21.bxc5 dxc5 22.e5 cxd4 23.Bxd4 Qb4 24.Rd1 Bxa4 25.Be3+ Bd7-+;
ALTERNATIVE (-2.87) 21.Nd5 Qf7 22.c3 cxb4 23.cxb4 Be6 24.Rc1 Bxd5 25.exd5 Qxd5-+]
21...Qe6 (-3.04) 22.bxc5 (-2.66) 22...dxc5 (-2.55)
23.c3?
(-3.41) MISTAKE - Your position is getting even worse - you are now losing. The best line was 23. Rd1 [BEST MOVE (-2.39) 23.Rd1 Bxa4 24.dxc5 Kc8 25.Nb4 Bc3 26.Bd4 Qd7-+;
MISTAKE (-3.41) 23.c3 Bc6 24.Bxg5+ hxg5 25.Qxg5+ Kc8 26.Rxh8 Bxh8 27.dxc5 Be5-+]
23...cxd4 (-2.44) 24.cxd4 (-2.48) 24...g4 (-1.80) 25.Qh4+ (-2.19) 25...Nf6 (-2.19)
26.Bf4 (-2.33) 26...gxf3 (-1.96)
27.gxf3?!
(-1.96) INACCURACY - Perhaps better was 27. Be5 [BEST MOVE (-1.51) 27.Be5 Rf8 28.gxf3 Rc8 29.Rh2 Qf7 30.Rg2 h5-+;
INACCURACY (-1.96) 27.gxf3 Rc8 28.Rh2 Rg8 29.Rg2 Bc6 30.Bxh6 Bxh6 31.Nxf6-+]
27...Rc8 (-1.95)
28.a5?
(-3.12) MISTAKE - Your position is getting even worse - you are now losing. The best line was 28. Rh2 [BEST MOVE (-1.92) 28.Rh2 Rg8 29.Rg2-+;
MISTAKE (-3.12) 28.a5 Bc6 29.Nb4 Qc4 30.Nxc6+ Rxc6 31.Be5 Qe2 32.d5-+]
28...Bc6 (-2.49)
29.Nxf6??
(-4.82) BLUNDER - Oh no - a blunder! You should have played 29. Ne3 [BEST MOVE (-2.39) 29.Ne3 Ke8 30.d5 Nxd5 31.exd5 Bxd5 32.Qh5+ Qf7 33.Nxd5 Bxa1 34.Bxh6-+;
BLUNDER (-4.82) 29.Nxf6 Bxf6 30.Qf2 Rg8+ 31.Bg3 Qd6 32.e5 Rxg3+ 33.Qxg3 Qxd4+ 34.Kh2 Bxe5-+]
29...Bxf6 (-5.75) 30.Qf2 (-5.89) 30...Rg8+ (-5.96) 31.Kf1 (-5.96)
31...Bb5+??
(-4.78) BLUNDER - Lucky you! Your opponent blundered! The best move was 31... Qc4+ [BEST MOVE (-8.63) 31...Qc4+ 32.Qe2 Qb3 33.Bg5 hxg5 34.Kg2 Bxd4 35.Rad1 Qc3-+;
BLUNDER (-4.78) 31...Bb5+ 32.Ke1 Qb3 33.Bd2 Rc3 34.Rxh6 Rxf3 35.Rxf6 Rxf2 36.Rxf2-+]
32.Ke1 (-4.78)
32...Ke8??
(-3.43) BLUNDER - Lucky you! Your opponent blundered! The best move was 32... Qb3 [BEST MOVE (-6.23) 32...Qb3 33.Bd2 Bg5 34.f4 Qd3 35.Rh2 Qxe4+ 36.Qe3 Qxe3+-+;
BLUNDER (-3.43) 32...Ke8 33.d5 Bc3+ 34.Bd2 Qe5 35.Rd1 Bxd2+ 36.Qxd2 h5 37.d6-+]
33.Rxh6??
(-12.62) BLUNDER - Oh no - a blunder! You should have played 33. d5 [BEST MOVE (-3.44) 33.d5 Bc3+ 34.Bd2 Bxd2+ 35.Qxd2 Qe5 36.Rb1 Ba6 37.Qe3 Qg3+ 38.Qf2-+;
BLUNDER (-12.62) 33.Rxh6 Qc4 34.Bg5 Qc3+ 35.Qd2 Qxa1+ 36.Qd1 Qxa5+ 37.Kf2 Bxg5 38.Rh7-+]
33...Rd8??
(-0.59) BLUNDER - Lucky you! Your opponent blundered! The best move was 33... Qc4 [BEST MOVE (-20.06) 33...Qc4 34.Bg3 Qc3+ 35.Qd2 Qxa1+ 36.Qd1 Rc1 37.Kf2 Rxd1 38.Be5-+;
BLUNDER (-0.59) 33...Rd8 34.Rc1 Rf8 35.Be5 Qe7 36.Bxf6 Rxf6 37.Rh8+ Rf8³]
34.Rc1 (-1.52)
34...Bxd4??
(+10.00) BLUNDER - Lucky you! Your opponent blundered! The best move was 34... Qe7 [BEST MOVE (-2.47) 34...Qe7 35.Qh2 Qb4+ 36.Bd2 Bh4+ 37.Rxh4 Qxd4 38.Rg4 Rxg4 39.fxg4 Qxe4+ 40.Kd1 Qxg4+-+;
BLUNDER (+10.00) 34...Bxd4 35.Rxe6+ Kf8 36.Be3 Kf7 37.Bxd4 Kxe6 38.Qa2+ Ke7 39.Bc5+ Kd7 40.Qd5+ Kc8 41.Bxa7++-]
35.Rxe6+ (+10.84)
35...Kf7?
(+12.14) MISTAKE - Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 35... Kf8 [BEST MOVE (+10.84) 35...Kf8 36.Be3 Kf7 37.Rh6 Be5 38.f4 Bb8 39.Rh7+ Rg7 40.Rxg7+ Kxg7 41.Bxa7 Bxa7 42.Qxa7+-;
MISTAKE (+12.14) 35...Kf7 36.Rc7+ Bd7 37.Qxd4 Kxe6 38.Qd6+ Kf7 39.Rxd7+ Rxd7 40.Qxd7+ Kg6 41.Qxb7+-]
36.Rc7+ (+12.38)
36...Kxe6?
(+Mat04) MISTAKE - Your opponent made a mistake! Better was 36... Kf8 [BEST MOVE (Mat09) 36...Kf8 37.Bh6+ Rg7 38.Bxg7+ Bxg7 39.Qc5+ Kg8 40.Rxg7+ Kh8 41.Rh7+ Kxh7 42.Qe7+ Kh8 43.Rh6+ Kg8 44.Rg6++-;
MISTAKE (+Mat04) 36...Kxe6 37.Qa2+ Bc4 38.Qxc4+ Rd5 39.Qxd5+ Kf6 40.Qf7#+-]
37.Qa2+ (+Mat04) 37...Kf6 (+Mat01) 38.Qf7# (+Mate) WHITE WINS 1-0
The computer's comments remind me of something a friend would say whenever we finished a chess game: "I was winning, you know" and I would reply "Yes, you were winning – right up to the point where you had to resign."